Push Through It

I can't count the number of times I've uttered the phrase, 'Just Push Through It' lately. It's almost like it's become a daily mantra for me.

Probably towards the beginning of June, Eric sent me a link to a house. For the past few years or so he's done it, but nothing ever really comes of it. This was a similar situation, but he sent a few too many for me to stay quiet.

It started an itch that continued to grow. For the next month or so we discussed moving ad nauseam. Eric was arguing his very logical point of view and I'd argue my emotional view. We'd go around in circles. He had to remind me that the only reason he started looking was to get an idea of where the market was currently at. I didn't care at all about that. I saw beautiful houses and I wanted them to be mine. I resigned myself to the fact that we weren't going to moving anytime soon.

He wanted to be smarter about our next home purchase than we were about this home. When we bought this home I was just in a hurry to get OUR OWN home that we didn't do much in the way of research or really looking into what we liked.

Eric had friends out this way, so we decided to come this way. There were a few builders in the area, but we pretty much went with the 1st builder whose model we walked through. I wanted a multi-story house, but Eric thinks you get too much wasted space with them so he was pretty adamant we get a rambler. So we bought a rambler and it didn't take long before I decided I really wasn't too terribly happy with our layout. I felt guilty every time I brought it up because it made Eric feel bad. And because he knew this he was constantly on the hunt for a new home, but doing it financially was always an issue.

A few weeks after we had pretty much decided moving wasn't a possibilty, my friend made a post on Facebook. She was looking for a home in our area to rent with 3 bedrooms, 2 baths and a fenced backyard.  Everything our house had. At first I ignored it and just prayed she'd find something. After a couple days she posted again that she hadn't found anything and was still putting feelers out there. I couldn't let it go, so I talked to Eric to see how he'd feel about renting out our house.

We both had some reservations, but decided that if my friend was up for renting our house in the condition it was in - we'd offer it up. So I asked my friend if she was interested and she seemed like she was and asked if her and her husband could come look that weekend. I said yes and tried to get what small things done that I could.

In the meantime Eric got in touch with the guy who handled our first mortgage and has helped us with a few other things in the past years to see what we could afford for a new home. He came back with some bittersweet news. We could afford a house at a price higher than we were expecting BUT we HAD to sell our home first. There was no way we could do two mortgages.

Thankfully, my friend had had a few other houses lined up to see and she found something that probably suits her needs much better.

But then we were left with the issue of selling. Our mortgage broker is married to a realtor so we met with her and got the wheels turning. I worked like mad the day she came over to the house thinking she'd want to walk around, but she didn't. I was feeling a little frustrated but she called back minutes after leaving our house and asked if she could come back on Saturday with her husband to look at the house as they sometimes flip houses. We worked like crazy Saturday morning to make things presentable and hoped for the best. Plus, I finally had a walk in closet again...

We took a mini vacation that next week and our realtor told us she'd touch base with us when we got back. She did touch base but said nothing about if she and her husband wanted to flip the house. She just asked if we'd be ready to schedule a photographer (do all real estate company's do this now?) and if we were okay still listing our house on the 12th. We said we were, but we really weren't/aren't.

Here's the problem...

We have 7 children who have pretty much turned this house upside down and right side out. The carpets are a lost cause and we refused to replace the carpet until the youngest kid was like 5. Then we just kept having kids. The dogs weren't helpful to the carpet cause either. The walls have seen the hands of pretty much every child and the rounded corners that I thought were so terribly awesome and safer are so terribly great at peeling paint. Neither Eric nor I have taken the time to figure out how to repair them correctly. Then you add in a depression of 3+ years and in short you get rooms that SHOULD be much cleaner, but aren't.

The dungeon (basement) has always been a sore spot with me. Every time I'd spend days on end getting it organized and cleaned up, the kids would destroy it in probably even less time. And when you're depressed and it already took you months to get up the energy to tackle the problem in the first place - you just let things go. Suddenly the basement becomes an episode of Hoarders, minus the dead animal skeletons and feces.

So we say, yes we're totally ready to get the ball rolling. Which means a whole lotta work packed into a very SHORT amount of time. We had planned to get a lot done on Saturday, but Eric's mom found an open house for a house she really wanted to look at (she thought about moving right along with us), so we did that. It was a beautiful house, but really didn't work for our situation. After that Eric surprised me with an impromptu quick date and then we came home. He had to head to his pseudo job and I was home with the kids and really too tired to do anything (included prepping my Primary lesson). The whole time I was kicking myself because I knew how much needed to be done and I just sat around...

So I pretty much begged Eric to stay home on Monday or Tuesday to help get things together cause we knew the photographer was coming today. Eric took Monday off and he made the most of it. He took a morning run to the store to get some containers and boxes and when he got home he was working in the basement. I was upstairs doing the daily cleaning and then using the magic eraser wherever I saw it needed to be done. I had to stop to make the hour trip (round trip) to take Shaylyn to cheer practice and when I got home I went downstairs to help Eric. I was amazed at what he had done working all day.

He was quickly losing steam, but we both pushed through it. About 9:00 we called it a night. We then made the stupid choice to stay up late playing a new game Eric had gotten for the kids for all the hard work they've also been doing. I went to bed around midnight and I'm not sure, but I think Eric was up till 1 or so. He then woke up at 4 to get to work in time to work a 10 hour day.

I spent the next day in the basement finishing what we had started before. I had my own ideas of what needed to be done before pictures, but Eric was sure the basement needed to be done. So I pushed through. By the time Eric got home I had pretty much organized all the toys, but wasn't completely done. Eric did what he could considering he was EXHAUSTED. We took a break for dinner and to celebrate Jace's birthday, then he kept the kids entertained while I finished in the basement. It was probably 10:30 when all was said and done, but we got that half of the basement COMPLETELY cleaned. It was an amazing feeling.

Today I had to tackle everything upstairs that needed to look nice for pictures. The photographer didn't come until 6 and I was still scrambling to get things done. I was almost in tears around 4:00 when I realized I really wasn't going to have things the way I wanted them for pictures. That is a super frustrating feeling.

And while the house is cleanish, it's no where near done. And I am still super frustrated. Things are not working out the way I had envisioned and I'm feeling bad that the kids have pretty much missed out on a REAL summer because I've been so preoccupied and busy. I also hate that they've had to play babysitter to their baby brother because I can't hold a baby and clean like I need to.

As it is, I still have cupboards that need to be cleaned, a pantry to organize, a fridge to clean, random things to pack up and my bathroom floor needs some extra love that I just didn't get time for today. There's also another half to the basement that is just as much something from Hoarders as the other side was, that really needs to be clean. AND I'm supposed to have it done by Friday because the realtor says there'll be a lot of traffic the day the listing goes up (Friday) and on Saturday she's thinking of holding an Open House. Eric can't take any more time off right yet and we have vastly differing opinions on what is most important.

Then there's the issue of keeping this place 'show-ready' with all 7 kids underfoot. That should be super simple, right? My only saving grace is that in a week and a half, 5 of them will be in school most of the day. Let's pray this place goes quick. I miss doing the things I LIKE to do...scrapbooking, blogging, sleeping...

In the meantime all I can do is push through it. And that means pushing through everything! The fact we had to get rid of the dogs (something I try not to think about), the cleaning, the upkeep, keeping children fed and happy (I've cleaned the kitchen 3 times today), keeping up with laundry (I'm always failing). Trying to convince the kids (and myself) that moving will be okay and we'll make new friends. That last part will be tricky for me, but I can't let the kids know that....